The Normal Heart (2014) / Shame (2011): Saturday Sadness

From: USA (The Normal Heart) / UK (Shame)

Director: Ryan Murphy (The Normal Heart) / Steve McQueen (Shame)

I don’t even know if I can finish typing this, so no promises.

My face is hot and crusty with dried up tears. My heart is slowly throbbing with memories of devastation. My mind is cloudy and heavy with teary fog. My writing is melodramatic. This is all because of these two frickin movies.

5PM – Shame

Even Michael Fassbender’s glorious nudity is not enough to distract you from this movie’s seeping ache. It’s just there, underneath their shoes, between the cracks, in the ruffle of their hair. It’s not abrasive but it’s throbbing.

 

7:32 PM – The Normal Heart

I saw The Normal Heart a week ago and the whole week succeeding that was a just a heavy blur. I watched it again to desensitize my emotions but all it did was squeeze my heart until it bled salty tears. Now I believe I’m not a crier when it comes to films, but this one just gets to me. I’m not even talking about sickness scenes, but just the plain scenes where they hug or lie on the bed. I had to hash it out numerous times with my best friend to make it into something casual and not a protruding thorn in my brain.

 

I knew I shouldn’t have watched two movies in a row, more so two devastating movies. My heart broke into two, one half for each movie I watched.

 

What this film holds for me: 

Who: Matt Bomer, you are one dedicated son of a b*tch. And your angles leave me gasping for air

Who: Mark Ruffalo, only you can make the Hulk disappear completely

What: the wedding

What: running scene in Shame is no-cut gorgeousness